project x

Something New

So…this morning I get a message from an artist friend who asked me and several other friends if we would be interested in modelling for “erotic/alter ego” photographs of the classy and artistic variety. I shoved any hesitation to the bottom of my awareness and said YES. Enthusiastically. And as conversation developed, I further volunteered to get completely naked for this project. Because why? I have no idea what part of my psyche was telling me to jump into this project and take it as far as possible! I have never done anything like this before. But….I think it might be about risk taking….proving to myself I can do it? Not being afraid or ashamed of my 45 year old post babies body?….who knows. I feel enthusiastic now – hopefully I stay that way. Actually my biggest fear is being enthusiastic all the way through until I see the pictures!! And then suddenly realize how old and flabby I am AND that everyone else who sees these pictures is going to see that too! I think I am the 2nd oldest woman in this group….but I guess the idea is to show real women…and provide a medium through which we can each make peace with whatever body issues we might have. We will all have input into our own pictures if we wish.

It’s been interesting how things have developed throughout this first day even….it went from G’s idea and wanting to photograph….to everyone kind of chiming in their thoughts and ideas….to deciding it should be a total art project…to now, where we have a pinterest board upon which we are all posting erotic photographs of women of all shapes and sizes in various states of undress….(almost 200 photos already as I write this!) ..and as a result of seeing who was posting what, we started talking about specific interests and questions around that kind of thing….”will anyone be triggered by pictures of bound women?” – “why is an exposed vulva so taboo in a non pornographic nude picture?” – stuff like that. This could actually turn out to be a really cool and kind of therapeutic thing, I think. Well, if nothing else it should at least inspire me to get back to the gym on a regular basis. =P

old/new thing…..

So a few days ago I found myself unexpectedly spending the night in a cabin in the woods with a bunch of other people.  My son was there and he brought his acoustic guitar…..and at some point I was kind of by myself in the living room with the guitar….

I have no idea what possessed me to pick it up and play with it.  I haven’t played guitar for over 15 years, probably longer than that.  I started slowly…plunk plunk….remembering how it felt to hold a guitar and then slowly my fingers started remembering the shapes of some chords….C….G…F…D…E…it was in perfect tune and it sounded really pretty. Soon I was sounding out a simple song and playing some blues scales I remembered somehow.  I was playing very quietly, in my own world, just making sounds and remembering…..how did all that stuff stay in my head? I remembered my old Alvarez and how pleased Gig was with himself when he gave it to me for Christmas that year…..such a grand gesture I wasn’t expecting and didn’t really know how to respond to.  That poor Alvarez died a painful death at the Biddle House when someone stepped on it and smashed it during one of the many drunken parties there.  It wasn’t a fantastic amazing guitar but it did its job and I miss it, suddenly, after all these years. Weird.

 

I’m not that kind of knitter.

I have finally accepted the fact that I am not, and never will be, that kind of knitter.  I will probably never be able to turn a heel, make neat invisible joins, or knit something that doesn’t have an obvious mistake in it.  I hate measuring gauge and usually only make a cursory attempt at it before starting a project. I am annoyed by the math involved in knitting something fitted, and the time involved in making something very fine.

My knitting projects invariably turn out looking “homey”, primitive, and if you wanted to make it sound fancy you could say it has a wabi-sabi esthetic.  I have taught over 20 people how to knit, probably, and the ones I keep up with are all much better knitters than I am.  One I remember especially was a 15 year old boy in a homeschooling coop class who was using four double pointed needles and turning heels at the end of 8 weeks.

I really like making cables, but cables on a clumsy scarf or lopsy sweater are not ever going to be appreciated the way they should be.

I have known I am not that kind of knitter for a while now, but I always felt that maybe sometime my skills would just develop. Maybe after the baby’s done nursing, maybe when the toddler is more self sufficient, maybe when I have more time, more peace, more patience.  Today I am admitting, I am not that kind of knitter and probably never will be.  And that’s okay!

I hereby embrace my own style of clumsy hasty imperfection and have decided to work with it rather than against it.  I personally adore art that is primitive, a little rough around the edges, outsider art kind of stuff, and I guess my knitting can be a little rough around the edges too.  I have always been drawn to fiber arts.  I love paper and bits of cloth and yarn and string, grosgrain ribbon, lace, different textures of cardboard, I like hair and used to collect snips of my friends hair if they would allow me to, but I have never developed any real skills around that either except for my few forays into machine-felting sweaters, spinning wool into yarn with a drop spindle, knitting, and some sewing and embroidering.  One time I made a few paper collages of crows. Nothing I ever really kept up with except the knitting.

So I am going to focus on experimental kinds of knitting.  Knitting with wire, knitting with plastic bags, knitting odd things and useful things.  I really like functional stuff as well so today I am spending a little bit of time making t-shirt yarn and digging up a book I bought ten years ago called “Knitted Rag Rugs for the Craftsman”.  My grandma used to have a big oval rag rug in her dining room and I remember being fascinated by it as a child and following the rings of color around and around, and appreciating that it was both simple and complex.  I am going to try to knit a rag rug out of old t-shirts that are too ugly or stained to pass on to anyone. I guess that is a “craft” and not an “art” but where that line falls has always puzzled and interested me.  Some crafts, like really old quilting or needlepoint, are regarded as art forms, but it seems they have to be really super old to be appreciated in that way.  Also furniture making – it’s a craft, a handyman thing but at some point it turns into an art form and you have a room full of interesting chairs and things in a museum somewhere.

Making the t-shirt yarn is fun. It’s really tactile and it’s physical –  I can feel my arm muscles working when I’m pulling the strips.  It’s pretty cool how much yarn you can get out of one shirt. I will be knitting with big needles so it will be one of those things that knit really fast which I like because it satisfies my impatience!

The woman who wrote the book is listed as a “master rugmaker”.  I wonder who hands out the title of master rugmaker??

This is not the drawing project I am supposed to be working on. I still want to do some drawing.  But the drawing project has led me to think about a lot of things, and start this blog, and think about what I do like to do, and has led me to this.

Making Mead (Sima)

This post is not drawing lab related,  but I think using this blog to keep track of other things I attempt to create, make, or do would be kinda fun.  I really want to push myself to keep trying new things so having a place to write it all down will help to motivate me to not just sit around and watch life pass me by, as is so easy to do. 

Last night I visited my friends Paula and Conon to learn how to make mead.  The mead we made is a light Scandanavian drink called Sima (which we postulated may be the origin of the name of the Zima drinks ).  I brought some brown sugar, lemons, and honey and Paula had lots of jars and bottles and special caps and funky little airlock things and a bucket.  The entire process was amazingly simple.  Basically….boil some stuff, add some lemon juice and yeast, and let it sit.  It will apparently sit for 1 to 3 days while the yeast does its thing, then it gets siphoned into bottles.  I have enough ingredients to try to recreate this process at home, which I plan to do soonish.  The finished product is supposedly something like “soda pop with a kick”.  MMMMmmmmmm yummy!  I want to try putting some sweet woodruff in it for that yummy sweet woodruff taste. Didn’t get to take any pictures because my phone was out of batteries, but when I make more I will make sure to take some.